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Growing up I was always involved in sports.  There was no internet at the time, and you can only play Space Invaders on Atari for so long.  There was a park right down my street in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, so my brother, cousins and I would always be down there playing basketball, wiffle ball or football.  My mom was my tee-ball coach, and I was always involved with some sort of team. 

As geeky as I was, I could always turn to sports.  Junior High were probably some of the worst years of my life.  I went to a public school and was in the honors program, and band, so that automatically put a target on my forehead to be bullied.  But as much as I was threatened, I always had a game or tournament coming up that weekend, so that would get through the week. 

Maybe it was because I had great coaches when I was young that used positive reinforcement, but the best times in my life were going on softball tournaments, and being part of a team.  I was definitely a loner growing up, and in some ways I still am.  But no matter how bad things got, I could always be known as a state champion, or an All-City basketball player.  I had talent.  That talent gave me self-confidence, and that self assurance gave me the work ethic to not only be a solid athlete, but a good student as well.  By my mom putting me on teams and getting me involved in sports, it got me a college scholarship and a college degree.

I accidently saw the show Toddlers and Tiaras one day, which my good friend Michelle pointed out to me.  I always thought of beauty pageants as really superficial.  They breed these beauty queens from when they’re little babies. The parents of these children (usually the moms) shove fake teeth in their mouths and put more make-up on them a drag-queen hooker.  From what I’ve seen on the show, which of course probably isn’t the best source to judge beauty pageants, a lot of these parents are pushing their kids to do this.  They give their kids “pageant crack” aka pixi sticks and coca cola to keep them awake and a lot of the times tell them how much they sucked.  You can tell a number of the contestants wanted nothing to do with the pageant.  The episode I watched had this young girl doing backflips in her living room, telling the camera she wanted to be in the Olympics for gymnastics.  Her psychotic mother pulled her out of gymnastics because her muscles were developing and she wouldn’t look good in her pageant dresses.  The young girl made it clear that she didn’t like pageants.but

On the flip side, a lot of these little kids love dressing up, putting on their dresses and performing.  There were a few cases where the toddlers were actually excited about competing. 

So back to my question.  In the long run, which would build the stronger female?  I don’t mean physically, obviously.  Which female will more likely to be an independent, positive contribution to society?  Which female will be more likely to get through school without giving into peer pressure?  Which female would be more likely to say no to something she doesn’t want, or not be afraid to have her voice heard?  Which girl is more likely to have an eating disorder, or serious self-esteem issues?

Wrestling is a lot like a beauty pageant.  I know that women in the business (and men for that matter) can agree that we are all very self-conscious.  But for a woman in most cases, the more beautiful and fit you are, the further you’ll go in the business.  I mean, that’s a generalization.  There’s a lot more to it.  But bottom line, if you’re above-average looks-wise, you’re not going to make it very far in the business.  It’s funny, because my first couple years of wrestling I’ve never been so insecure in my LIFE…

I’d like to hear some opinions on this matter.  I have a lot of friends with daughters, and my niece, Keeley, is the most beautiful baby on the planet.  Would you put your daughter in sports, or would you rather have your child compete in a beauty pageant?  I’m curious lemme know yo…

tweet me,

@nyknockout

This has been a very touchy subject from the beginning of my career.  I’m sure I speak for the real women workers on this matter.  The ones that are at training every week, even ten years into their career, the ones that watch wrestling to learn more about the craft, the ones that want veterans to critique their matches, the girls that want to get better every day.  I’m speaking for the women who have passion and respect for the game, and know that it’s not just a hobby to dress up cute, get into the lockerroom and snag a boyfriend. 

I’ve trained with a lot of different people, at a lot of different places.  And every time I hear someone say “Oh there’s this new girl training…” I tell them to tell me about her in six months.  Why do I have this attitude?  Am I jealous?  Um no.  It’s from past experience:

I used to train with a girl named Ruby Red.  She had a lot of potential as a luchadora.  I took her under my wing, and got her on shows. I took her to Gil’s Garage, the underground, historic lucha libre school that was considered an honor to train there.  I introduced her to Los Luchas and made her a part of my family. What ever happened to that Ruby Red?  She started banging everybody in the locker rooms, started sleeping with an older man and got married and knocked up.  Her “career” lasted thirty seconds.  Should a girl that hasn’t been in the business for a minute, and is known to cause trouble and sleep around, be respected by the other workers at a promotion?

I worked with a girl at AWS one time.  I forgot her name.  I think she was training for about six weeks, but I DO remember she was dating Scott Lost at the time.  Why do I remember that?  Well.  Let’s just say the girl was making some severely stupid mistakes in our match.  I think I chopped her a few times.  She was a really nice girl, but had no business being on a card.  What happens next? Scott Lost, the guy she’s banging, storms in the women’s locker room and goes off on me, a 7-year veteran at the time.  When I say go off, I mean screamed in my face, telling ME I should respect HIM for whatever reason.  Asshole. Now IM not getting any respect in my own space, because his girlfriend decided she wants to go pro. *On a side note, thank you Jezebel Romo for being the only one who had any balls to stick up for me on that matter. 

What about the girl that does train, and does try to further her career…but is dating one guy in the locker room, and decides to sleep with another guy in the same locker room, who happens to be married?  Then goes and gets drunk and messes around with someone else?  Then gets another guy to get pissed off at the guy she messed around with while she was drunk?  Do I shake her hand, when a locker room is falling apart because of her promiscuity?

What about the girl that a worker ”hires” to take the focus off him because he doesn’t have the greatest skills? You know, that dumb bitch with the Snookie poof and hooker heels that makes you want to fist pump?  The one that applies her make-up on with a spray can.  Yeah, that girl.  She doesn’t say hi to anyone, doesn’t know what respect means because she’s barely of age or never learned it.  As for paying dues?  The only dues she’s paid is putting her profile up on Model Mayhem or answering an ad on craigslist that said ”wrestler valet needed.”

That last one makes me feel bad for the managers and valets that actually know the business and respect it.

Let’s not forget the countless Ring rats and dirty skanks who find their way into the locker room.  Let’s not leave those girls out. 

My point is, the fact that any category you put a girl in, we all have vaginas (some more worn out than others).  And I feel that the women workers sometimes get the shaft.  We have to work extra hard to gain the respect of everyone, because the dirty bitches make us look bad in an instant.

Is there a solution to this problem?  Probably not.  But these are the reasons some women just don’t deserve respect in the locker room.  Or in life for that matter.

I’d like to thank all the Allison Dangers, Sara Del Reys, and Daisy Hazes of the business for really showing that women can make an impact on this business in a positive light.  Keep on keeping on.

And for all the potential women talent that believes they belong in this business: don’t shit where you eat.

Love and Light,

NYKO

For those of you that know me, know I’ve been wrestling on the Pro-independent scene for almost 9 years.  I’ve done a lot with my career, and I’ve been to many places, worked in many locker rooms and have met a number of people from all over with very different backgrounds. You see indy wrestlers that are dedicated, with hard bodies carrying their meals, you see the underweight pot-heads that are smoking out before the shows, you see the weekend warriors that chug beers after (and in some cases before) their matches, you see the dirty sluts that are sitting on the male wrestlers’ laps, and you see the dedicated women with self-respect going over their stuff. But I think people that have been in the business for a while would definitely agree that wrestlers share a common thread: we’re all messed up in the head one way or another. 

The majority of wrestlers have daddy issues, were teased as kids, are slightly mentally retarded, etc. (present company INcluded).  There’s some stupid reason we like to get into a square surrounded by ropes, and in some cases matresses surrounded by garden hose, and kill our bodies in front of sometimes 10 people, for no money.  You just don’t many people in the outside world of wrestling that are capable of doing that to themselves. 

I never got sick of wrestling.  I wrestle ALL the time.  But I did, however get sick of the wrestling world.  I missed the competition.   I missed the NYKO that competed for everything, all the way through college.  I missed winning.  I even missed losing…not because my opponent was banging the promoter, but because my opponent happened to fight the better fight. 

So I started boxing.  I’m training for my first fight, and have been training a while now.  After participating in clinics and working with different trainers and different people, I realized a tremendous difference between both my worlds: the MEN. 

I don’t mean to pick on the males, but I have yet to work with a significant number females (in boxing) to notice a difference.  Let’s cut to the chase.  The majority of male wrestlers (I’m covering my ass here, because I have a few amazing male-wrestler friends) are pigs, and they make shitty boyfriends.  They’re self-absorbed, self-centered, uninteresting, superficial, muscle-headed idiots whose gear bags smell like woodchips and peanut butter, as Michelle Morgan would always say.  I’ve dated a few, and every time I fall for a new one it’s like making the same mistake over and over.  It’s a combination of always being around them and me having low standards.  It’s hard to wrestle so much and not wind up dating a wrestler.  A lot of them have no manners or etiquette.  For example, it has been more than one time where I’ve walked into a locker room with no seats available, and not one testosterone-laden beast even offered me a seat.  In any other work place, if someone decided to grab my ass, or my boobs, it’d be a law suit, and it’d be all over the papers.  This happens all too often in a wrestling locker-room.  If someone told me there was a class in their wrestling schools on how to sexually harass females, I wouldn’t be surprised.

And I won’t even get into the fact of how many broke and needy men I’ve met in the business.  I’ve had guy friends tell me they’re with their girlfriend so they’d have a place to stay.  Awesome.  Way to be a real man.

I’ve trained with some great wrestlers.  A lot of them were perverts.  I can’t even remember how many times a Ballard has touched me inappropriately and has gotten whacked for it.  It’s the nature of the business.  Dirty girls give themselves to these dirty men, so they think they can act inappropriately to all women in the business.  Thank you, dumb bitches who have paved the way for us.

As for boxing, I’ve trained with about 4 different people, all of them being male.  I first started noticing a difference when the Russian, who trains me Monday nights, took the time out to run me to the ground.  He had tons of opportunities to flirt, cop a feel, etc.  He was SO into making sure my foot work and jab were ok that the workout was a hundred percent productive.  He helped me put my gloves on, and he actually got up on the ring, and HELD THE ROPES OPEN for me!!  With nobody watching!!  It wasn’t part of a show or match!  It’s the little things, guys.  The little things.

Chad, the pro-boxer that came in to evaluate of few of the fighters, was also really into what he was teaching.  He treated me like a fighter, not like a big-boobed woman with amazing legs.  He told the class I had the best footwork.  So obviously he was paying attention when we were sparring.  And he called me an animal—for hanging with the guys, and not for any other reason.  I took it as a compliment.

I can’t even go into how amazing coach Pat is.  Just a genuinely good person all around.  I’m not going to start because I’m already rambling, and I could go on for days.

So, my theory?  Boxers have discipline. A lot of wrestlers don’t.  It takes DISCIPLINE to wake up at 5:30 am, make your way to the track and train for two hours, only to go home and rest up to train for another hour and a half in the gym.  You have to make weight, which means you can’t eat taco bell and have a beer five minutes before your fight. You respect your opponent, because he probably worked almost as hard as you did, and you don’t shit in his bag.

 With discipline, etiquette and respect is learned.  Guess what guys! You were supposed to pick up on this stuff as a kid.  Grow up.  Respect each other, especially the women who work hard (in the ring that is).

All in all, these are opinions based on MY experiences only.  I can’t speak for anyone else.  There are ok guys in wrestling, I just wouldn’t date any of them anymore.  I’d rather date a guy with a smooshed nose that is attentive to me than a dude with a nice bod that checks himSELF out all the time.

Let’s see how much shit I get for this one…

Peace, love and free drinks,

New York Knockout Nikki :)